Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
it was like his penis was on wheels.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
