well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
