Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I pour the whiskey from now on
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
