Got a toothbrush?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Dick very happy bro
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
