he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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