God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
