When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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