If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
