idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
