Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I can feel your judgement through the phone
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
