I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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