If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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