Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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