Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
