When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
