swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
