is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
