i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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