yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
