Quick, to the slutcave!
you didnt know i had herpes?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
