i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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