dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
