so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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