Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
