i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
