I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
