There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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