brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
