Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
How external is "for external use only"?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
