He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
