So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize