Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
