dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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