Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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