he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
