I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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