All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Enjoy the penises
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
