I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Randomize
