So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
