Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
