belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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