her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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