She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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