worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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