Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
