I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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