haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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