if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
