Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Semen is not good for contacts.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Randomize
