I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Fuck appropriateness.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize