I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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