he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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