Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
