Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
