Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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