Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
