It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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