I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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