3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
