if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
