I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Please, let me fuck your mom
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
