Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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