you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
