absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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