its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
the raccoons are back...
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