dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
