sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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