i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
