Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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