So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
