no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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