whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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