She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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