im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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