once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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