the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
