well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
