and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
