she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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