I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
