whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
